Names

[koolguy1029]

The paper mache youth

always talk about their

layers of sovereignty,

with the same words that

echo in promised depth.

.

From here the vistas seem

so shallow, and the name-

sakes are all spelled the

same.

.

I’m drowning in three inches

of spit, 70 faces into one

mouth, and so few drops from

each.

.

The days don’t come, the weight

of all these living corpses trap

them here.

.

Sometimes they don’t

grow up. Do they ever?

[Arriedo]

I’m drowning in three inches

of spit, 70 faces into one

mouth, and so few drops from

each.

best stanza you have, so much dept, so much hurt. i love it.

i'd say work on your vocabulary then work on your imagery theres so much more you can say with so fewer words.

[koolguy1029]

Thanks for the feedback! I'll work on that.

[arbil_poieo]

Welcome Koolguy!
"The paper mache youth" I like the anger undertone in this line and the image connecting a childhood activity to the youth
Overall, this poem has a hint of sarcasm (it especially shows up in the last line) and it's bitter. That is what I like about it, it's not hard to feel the emotions or the message from this and it just intensify in each line.
This is original through and through, my one nit is I don't think you need "the days don't come" that can be implied in the last two lines and it's not important (just my opinion).