Found Poetry

[Aish]

[Image: http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c216/x...an0016.jpg]



Stars do not destroy themselves
in one burst of fiery gold flame in a twinkling,
lustrous night is a wild drink
of soft precious amber and ripe rose
sublime magnetism created the
Temple of the first kiss of love
secret incandescent dreaming
magic
and the Tribe
of silver meadows of the moon



[Image: http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c216/x...an0017.jpg]

Whence did you come
like vivid light and shadow
Reflecting brilliant dreams,
the little bronze child
wore a rosy blessing
a mother nursing her infant
crooning evening light and
gentle held awe.

[billy]

i like the concept and the title obviously suits.
[Image: http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c216/x...an0016.jpg]



Stars do not destroy themselves
in one burst of fiery gold flame in a twinkling,
lustrous night is a wild drink
of soft precious amber and ripe rose does it need a comma here. my fave line
sublime magnetism created the
Temple of the first kiss of love i'm presuming temple is capped from the page it was taken
secret incandescent dreaming secret and incandescent feel off for me, as all dreams are secret.
magic
and the Tribe
of silver meadows of the moon



[Image: http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c216/x...an0017.jpg]

Whence did you come
like vivid light and shadow
Reflecting brilliant dreams,
the little bronze child
wore a rosy blessing
a mother nursing her infant
crooning evening light and
gentle held awe.

not sure as i can be constructive on the 2nd one as it works well for me.
i enjoyed the feeling of birth the piece gave.
the 1st one felt a little too busy without saying much. (which could just be me) it didn't hold me as i think the backbone of the poem should have.
the pics work extremely well and for me make up a part of each poem.

thanks for the read.

[Aish]

Thanks, Billy!

I was disappointed the pics are unable to be read, which is why I posted the text. Found poetry is currently taking a hold of my creativity, and I hope to add more soon.

[billy]

it wasn't a problem for me, i understood what was going on through the circled words.

[Aish]

I think in the future as I do these keeping them short and succinct would be best.

[billy]

i can't see length being a problem, from the readers POV

[addy]

Wow, that's an interesting exercise, and it works so beautifully! There's a great liquid vibe to the words, with the sentences shifting midway into other sentences giving a succulent, dreamy effect. I really enjoyed reading it.