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Touched that which tried again and again.
A sense that bends the earth and ripples,
raised the grounds.
And a heavy wind, so did the hill walk on,
raged with laughter and went hallow where
hung the senses.
And for less then smiled, it fraught the wallow
to feel, but nothing reached down
begging another trip.
Who not the man was, but something
Ghost.
What about the comma in the the second line? Is that right?
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(08-13-2013, 12:47 AM)shepdog329 Wrote: Touched that which tried again and again.
A sense that bends the earth and ripples,
raised the grounds.
And a heavy wind, so did the hill walk on,
raged with laughter and went hallow where
hung the senses.
And for less then smiled, it fraught the wallow
to feel, but nothing reached down
begging another trip.
Who not the man was, but something
Ghost.
This is all yoda speak and some of it makes no sense.
I once told this blond chick to screw in a light bulb..
She got naked and asked "how do I get in it?"
Posts: 11
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Im sorry it was misleading
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Most of it reads as nonsense. The poem needs rephrasing in basically every line there is, I'm afraid.
Posts: 70
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I'm going to have to agree, the poem was a little tough to read because of how it's written. Try to change it up a bit maybe. I like where you're going with it, I think it just needs a little bit of work.
