Poem I
#5
(12-22-2012, 12:31 PM)LeCoeurNoir Wrote:  The thickest fog
Is clearly seen
But only lightly felt

The breath mists up
On broken pane
Until the ices melt
I don't think the poem needs to be expanded, I feel it's complete, just add the fixes that Todd mentioned and maybe use the word 'frost' instead of 'ice'

I enjoyed it. A fun poem
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Messages In This Thread
Poem I - by LeCoeurNoir - 12-22-2012, 12:31 PM
RE: Poem I - by Leanne - 12-22-2012, 02:29 PM
RE: Poem I - by Todd - 12-22-2012, 02:44 PM
RE: Poem I - by billy - 12-22-2012, 06:42 PM
RE: Poem I - by 2onthemap - 12-24-2012, 04:02 AM
RE: Poem I - by serge gurkski - 12-28-2012, 08:23 AM



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