Love and silence

[Misfortuneteller]

Your dread to upset her makes you insecure.
But love, any love, when sincere and pure,
It can be clumsy, futile, get funny results.
It’s never, just never a tool of insults.

Your silence, my friend, is a horrible vice
For which you may pay an unbearable price.
Nothing so surely calls for her bitterness
Like what she reads as your indifference.

The idea is borrowed from Lope de Vega – a playwright and poet of Spanish Renaissance:

One cannot insult by love,
Whoever is the one who dreams about happiness.
We are offended by indefference.

[Truerenigma]

The phrasing is stiff, and tired. It's full of cliches, and the rhymes are forced. It contains not a shread of imagery, nor any device for the reader, aside from rhymes, which, as I said, are forced.

[Heartafire]

Love and silence
Your dread to upset her makes you insecure. Upsetting her makes you feel insecure
But love, any love, when sincere and pure, this line is clumsy, perhaps you can find a smoother way of expressing this thought.
love can be clumsy
It can be clumsy, futile, get funny results.
It’s never, just never a tool of insults. this too, maybe "it should never be used to insult" this is a tough one.
Your silence, my friend, is a horrible vice silence is a vice (it is?)
For which you may pay an unbearable price. you may pay a price, ?unbearable, dunno about that
Nothing so surely calls for her bitterness these final lines are strong but need better wording.
Like what she reads as your indifference.

The idea is borrowed from Lope de Vega – a playwright and poet of Spanish Renaissance:

One cannot insult by love,
Whoever is the one who dreams about happiness.
We are offended by indefference. (indifference ?)

I feel you have something to work with here. I am making a few
suggestions that you can bin at will. You could try expressing this in free verse. Enjoyed reading this.
my best

[tectak]

Your dread to upset her makes you insecure.This sounds as if it was translated, rather than borrowed, from a Spanish original. Not because it is of merit but because the english is mangled. "Your dread to...." is poor and incompetent. It needs a better understanding of word use. Not really up to standard for this forum even though, and this to its credit, the expressed sentiment is worthy.
But love, any love, when sincere and pure,But what? You leave the "but" option dangling because you begin the next line with " It..." Again, you can see that, I am sure. Just read your work with and without the "It".
It can be clumsy, futile, get funny results.Truly strugging with the rhymes. This couplet is forced both ways. It is hard to tell if you are looking to rhyme with "results" or with "insults". Accordingly, both lines are dreadfully clunky and painful to read. You should consider blank verse because in all of this hotch-potch there is a concept worth saving...even though it is not yours
It’s never, just never a tool of insults.Weak line. Repeating for emphasis only works if the repeat has intrinsic strength. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more" works. "Never, just never..." does not. Why? Because the weakness of "just never" is carried through to the detriment of the whole line. What does "just never" actually mean, anyway? You cannot quantify the infinite.
Your silence, my friend, is a horrible viceI am not your friend...oh...you don't mean me? Who then? You are character switching here...and you will do it again. "my friend" is a blatant filler because you just could not be bothered to think of something better. It is not even within the remit of the concept. My friend, indeed Is that the friend with horrible vice? Easily upset? Makes you insecure? Insults you? Pick your friends with more care. This is a big disconnect.
For which you may pay an unbearable price.being what and why, precisely? I don't see this. I may even disagree with it if I did
Nothing so surely calls for her bitterness
Like what she reads as your indifference.Ah, yes, from a poem what some other Spanish bloke wroted. Lope de Vega you are not. Not good.

The idea is borrowed from Lope de Vega – a playwright and poet of Spanish Renaissance:

One cannot insult by love,
Whoever is the one who dreams about happiness.
We are offended by indefference.I doubt it! I would, though, like to believe that the word "indefference" existed! Sadly, it does not...and posting this piece on other sites (Yes, I checked. So should you. Forum "basic error" rule.) does not make it any more acceptable... or acceptafull. (For serge. "in" joke. Sorry)

There is a whole lot wrong with this but I can only see someone struggling with a concept too lofty for ability. In poetry, as in most things, we tend to promote ourselves to the point of maximum incompetence. Lower your sights and you can excel. Forget the rhyming thingy for now. Just write this whole thing out in straightforward first person and say what YOU got from reading Lope de Vega. Bring in more imagery and imagination. Avoid the word "like" to improve your metaphorical skills. Check your syntax by reading what you have written out loud. Remember, this is a site which critiques poetry, good and bad, to improve the writer...not to be impressed by something the writer read. You would have been better advised to omit the Lope de Vega reference entirely as that encourages comparison...and you can imagine where that places you. The misquote is indefensible so do not defend it.
Best and keep writing,
tectak