An Introduction To My Confusion

[liquidcure]

been feeling awhile now
like a homesick child
but i wrote these words down
on my bed

so if thats not source of pain
not sure that i understand
whats going on
in my head

ive got damn good friends
id give my life for them
there one of the few things
ive obtained

other than addictions and grief
that appear in the night like a thief
please just let me balance out
my brain

so if youre wondering
why my eyes are so red
its a symptom of what i use
to fight
these thoughts inside my head

ill pour enough liquid
to help me forget
that you even
exist

[Rodthegod]

I love the way your poems flow.

[softlyfalling]

I can truly feel the sincerity and raw emotion of your poem. Perhaps, in light if that, punctuation and grammar may seem like a blinder to philosophy or a fetter to expression, but I do want to point out that I feel it would only enhance your work. I stumbled more than once, when a simple apostrophe or comma would have smoothed the flow...for instance in S3 L2... "id" is so seriously wrong in this sentence that I felt myself stop short...the lack of punctuation has rendered nonsense when this is a very strong and emotional line!
Maybe my ideas are archaic, so forgive me if this was as you intended.

[Todd]

Where punctuation can also really become an issue is also when you have words like ill:

You mean I will, but what comes out is you feel sick.

I think when a lack of something obscures your impact, it deserves some consideration.

I do like your uses of figurative language, such as, comparing addiction and grief to a thief that comes at night to rob you. That seems appropriate for your content.

[liquidcure]

Thanks for the feedback! I agree on the punctuation needing to be corrected that was just laziness on my part. I will keep your comments in mind for future poems. Thanks again guys.