A loss poem
#1
I lived a life with her
I lived a life without her
I lived a life in between

The life in between still had hope and a clear picture. A dream.

I lived a life of hurt
The first world type of hurt
Of profound sadness
Pale to others' darkness

It is still my darkness
It is still my confusion
It is still my pain

This life of tears
Of priorities misplaced
Of confusion
Of angst

I am 13
I am confused
I am scared
I am alone

I don't want it to be over
I don't want you to forget
Keep this dream alive
Keep this lie alive
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#2
Are you really 13, or are you regressing back to 13 in the poem?

If you are 13, there are laws in some states against me paying too much attention to writings about your love life.

Why don't you say something about this poem. Is it real? Or is it make believe?

Say anything. I certainly will, if I feel the need to.
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#3
The first world type of hurt.

No internet connection
No twinkees in the pantry

Wouldn't a third world type of hurt be stronger?

There you have dysentery and malaria.

Welcome to the site!
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#4
Hi,

Thank you. No I am not 13, it is not so much regression as feeling like I have the emotional coping abilities of a 13 year old.

I think what I mean by first world type of hurt is, for the most part, life is very good so I dwell on something that, at least to me, is pretty minor compared to the types of hurt I could experience. Yet it is very real for me. I think the pain of love lost is universal, but I would argue someone dealing with life in third world would not have the luxury of dwelling on it as much.

Thank you!
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#5
This poem being what it is, and in the Novice section, maybe you could branch off into another poem about that first world and third world subject.

As a challenge. Seeing that many lost love poems usually just explode out of us. If you're new to poetry or whatever...you could take on that first world hurt subject you hinted at in this one and expand on it.
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