Astralegies I Libra
#1
A Midwinternight's dream

dedicated to arbil

Zubānā,* Gliese 581g : Life?

22 ^12 light years short scale** from you

there maybe around this red dwarf

some light of fading carmine shining upon you

if you wasted some life dwelling on

Zarmina, moon 6



I. Tubular Bells

Audience polychromochronous like on a Brueghel painting

listen stoned – eared

to:

Space makes noises.

They sound like a question,

no one can answer,

too fascinated by what

they don’t comprehend.

Messaging you on a light note

because no one can die while a smile.

Also just because of distraction.

My heart, metaphysical me

of depth unknown for the better,

dreams itself away

into a sphere of would-bes

and rather-nots

in a vain, desperate attempt

to overcome fear of

losing what it never possessed

anyway.

For whom tubular bells toll,

half-aware of the post Euclidian

geometry of a love

trespassing the line

somebody had to draw

to keep rebellious hearts without,
for those who still speculate boldly
about as of yet uncovered hopes,
that once were almost as real,
as if they were,

for us the living,
blind strangers in a world blind,

I libate liquid promises untenable

and I weave
an ultimately flexible
web of words,
sugarcandiedly recursive
to life.

And still I am reweaving meanings
into sounds like silk spun from Chinese mulberry
rewoven by Syrian merchants for Roman delights.




—————–

* http://www.buzzle.com/articles/constella...e-sky.html
** long scale would be 22 to th power of 18.
Reply
#2
I'm going to come back to this. I haven't drank in almost two weeks, and I'm feeling kind of sick at several points during the day. Things are blurry. Plus I'm going a bit stir crazy. There were some lines I liked and thought about pointing out, but then the screen started spinning. "Messaging you on a light note"... I'll come back and say more.
Reply
#3
(ty. My general attitude these days is: make poems your lovers. They are more easily dropped. It hurts less.)
Reply
#4
Before you said you make mistakes with English sometimes: But then I like saying things in awkward ways; but then again, you said that you didn't like to do that. So when lines seem a little off like when you say "loosing" instead of 'losing', do you want me to point them out: even in the noncritique sections? To me they're all critique sections if people simply say what they see and think and feel.

And now I see this is addressed to somebody specific, so it's easier to get a feel for.
Reply
#5
yes, point them out by any means. The awkwardness should be intended (deviation on purpose from correct grammar, spelling etc.).
Loosing has lost one o now. ,-) ty!
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!