Cyberfriends

[Art Deco]

In the final line, the reference to "plodding bull" and " king of beasts" refer to Taurus and Leo - the respective star signs of the corresspondents.


Her day dawns as mine retires
And mine begins as her’s expires
Of music, life and love she raves
Transmitted by the cyber waves
Her welcome words that flee by night
From server, bounced by satellite
Combined our waking hours involve
The span for Earth to once revolve
Our passions, thoughts, ambitions, fears
Shared in opposing hemispheres

I know her by her words alone
No human form or vocal tone
No pen or paper possible
No medium real and tangible
No touch, no smell nor other sense
To aid a knowing more intense
A missive sent by hand unseen
To form as words upon my screen
But poor procedure to reflect
The truth and scope of intellect

New perceiving she empowers
Amongst her music, books and flowers
The passion, beauty, soaring chords
That speak in richer tones than words
A symphony, the fourth by Mahler
Dramatic, moving , melodic gala!
In turn I share a work divine
Elgar Enigma variation nine
So share we two Life’s cultural feasts
The plodding the bull and king of beasts!

[Keith]

In the final line, the reference to "plodding bull" and " king of beasts" refer to Taurus and Leo - the respective star signs of the corresspondents.


Her day dawns as mine retires
And mine begins as her’s expires Nice opening lines
Of music, life and love she raves
Transmitted by the cyber waves
Her welcome words that flee by night
From server, bounced by satellite nice image
Combined our waking hours involve
The span for Earth to once revolve
Our passions, thoughts, ambitions, fears
Shared in opposing hemispheres

I know her by her words alone
No human form or vocal tone
No pen or paper possible
No medium real and tangible
No touch, no smell nor other sense
To aid a knowing more intense
A missive sent by hand unseen
To form as words upon my screen
But poor procedure to reflect
The truth and scope of intellect nice job, the full picture is always blurred with cyber comms
New perceiving she empowers
Amongst her music, books and flowers
The passion, beauty, soaring chords
That speak in richer tones than words
A symphony, the fourth by Mahler
Dramatic, moving , melodic gala!
In turn I share a work divine
Elgar Enigma variation nine
So share we two Life’s cultural feasts comma after share ?
The plodding the bull and king of beasts! The the ?

I really like this one, it delivers the chosen topic to a tee, I have a few friends and family that have met their current partners this way, thanks for sharing TOMH

[cidermaid]

Spot on, you have managed to capture this subject really well and there is so much for anyone, who has ever lived like this or had a 20 something kipper, to identify with.
The flow of your poem was so smooth and enhanced the projection and image of a life lived through a computor screen with no connection to real life. Well penned with plenty of rich images. Thanks for shareing.

[billy]

In the final line, the reference to "plodding bull" and " king of beasts" refer to Taurus and Leo - the respective star signs of the corresspondents.


Her day dawns as mine retires
And mine begins as her’s expires
Of music, life and love she raves
Transmitted by the cyber waves
Her welcome words that flee by night
From server, bounced by satellite
Combined our waking hours involve
The span for Earth to once revolve
Our passions, thoughts, ambitions, fears
Shared in opposing hemispheres

I know her by her words alone
No human form or vocal tone
No pen or paper possible
No medium real and tangible
No touch, no smell nor other sense
To aid a knowing more intense
A missive sent by hand unseen
To form as words upon my screen
But poor procedure to reflect
The truth and scope of intellect

New perceiving she empowers
Amongst her music, books and flowers
The passion, beauty, soaring chords
That speak in richer tones than words
A symphony, the fourth by Mahler meter
Dramatic, moving , melodic gala!meter
In turn I share a work divine
Elgar Enigma variation ninemeter
So share we two Life’s cultural feasts
The plodding the bull and king of beasts!

the content is very good, and the way the two people share and what they share is well stated. the meter is almost good, mainly iambic tetrameter, but if you could tweak a few lines it would flow even better. overall a good insight into cyber friendship. and a good solid set of rhymes.

thanks for the read.