The Immortal Soul

[heslopian]

What if our souls are like the sturgeon,
always growing, ungoverned by death?
Are the oceans of space wide enough to keep them all?
Or would they burn and suffocate against Orion's belt,
those shapeless forms of pain and sex.
Does the universe expand to house our stubborn faith?
The souls of the wicked are swallowed by suns
in man's ideal kingdom.
I yearn for grace of different creeds,
a wood where souls like infant hares
dart in and out of snug warrens,
released from what the skin dictates.

[tectak]

What if our souls are like the sturgeon,or as Whinnie the Pooh almost said,what if they're not. This kind of humongous hypothesis demands a great amount of documentary back up.....will we get it?
always growing, ungoverned by death?
Are the oceans of space wide enough to keep them all?
Or would they burn and suffocate against Orion's belt,
those shapeless forms of pain and sex.No, we won't, but let's just pretend and carry on regardless. The opening supposition was just so good (though a carp would have been my choice as they live in restricted environments as Koy, unlike tbe sea-going sturgeon) but left unproven.The search for melodramatic descriptive prose takes us in one leap from fish to fantasy. "Ungoverned by death" is just an inaccurate statement. I can prove that sturgeons die but I cannot say whether they are troubled by the concept. I suspect not so try unperturbed, unconcerned,even unphased at a push, but best for me
would be "unlimited"
Does the universe expand to house our stubborn faith?great thought and beautifully crafted question. Truly a philosophical germ-crystal. Cannot wait for the answer
The souls of the witcked are swallowed by sunswicked
in man's ideal kingdom.Oh. Is that all?A sun bite?
I yearn for grace of different creeds,...but who wrote this? The rest is excellent.Your muse is back from a shopping trip. This last stanza ( is not but should be) stands on its own and on its own merit. I would stick a "the" before "grace" but what do I know about graciousness?
a wood where souls like infant hares
dart in and out of snug warrens,
released from what the skin dictates.

You could really make this work. If others decide to help with the workshopping I would really be interested in the final outcome. The idea is excellent and worth expanding upon. I am not telling you how to suck eggs (yes I am, sorry) but in any extended piece with a commitment, to put forward a tennet with force you must avoid making heartfelt suppositions which then run headlong into the rest of your arguement like protons colliding. With a great deal of luck you may get fusion but it is millions to one in favour of fission..... a lot of heat and a whole heap of toxic waste.
Best,
Tectak

[Erthona]

What I was thinking about when reading this was, "Well souls are not a given, so trying to fathom what they are prior to determining that seems a bit out there."

You see, anytime you open with this sort of question, which is not purely rhetorical, you run into the debate about whether this is, or isn't true. I think you would be on safer footing to just state it as a belief, yet still in the pejorative.

Like sturgeons but unaffected by death, do souls continue to grow?

I assume this is reference to something, which you might want to specify, like

So a slight switch

Do our souls, like the essences say, continue to grow?
Are they like a sturgeon whose home is the universe,
growing until they bump up against the greater predators of the stars...

(the above is not meant as a poetic suggestion)

Thus instead of seeming to ask this question in the realm of factuality, it enters the realm of conjecture and whimsy, and encounters less resistance. It assumes to be true, those things that would be impossible to prove, and goes from there. It assumes there are souls, it is merely conjecturing if they are like such and such says.

I'm a little tired. Hope that makes the sense I am trying for it to make.

Dale

[tectak]

What I was thinking about when reading this was, "Well souls are not a given, so trying to fathom what they are prior to determining that seems a bit out there."

You see, anytime you open with this sort of question, which is not purely rhetorical, you run into the debate about whether this is, or isn't true. I think you would be on safer footing to just state it as a belief, yet still in the pejorative.

Like sturgeons but unaffected by death, do souls continue to grow?

I assume this is reference to something, which you might want to specify, like

So a slight switch

Do our souls, like the essences say, continue to grow?
Are they like a sturgeon whose home is the universe,
growing until they bump up against the greater predators of the stars...

(the above is not meant as a poetic suggestion)

Thus instead of seeming to ask this question in the realm of factuality, it enters the realm of conjecture and whimsy, and encounters less resistance. It assumes to be true, those things that would be impossible to prove, and goes from there. It assumes there are souls, it is merely conjecturing if they are like such and such says.

I'm a little tired. Hope that makes the sense I am trying for it to make.

Dale

---

What I was thinking about when reading this was, "Well souls are not a given, so trying to fathom what they are prior to determining that seems a bit out there."

You see, anytime you open with this sort of question, which is not purely rhetorical, you run into the debate about whether this is, or isn't true. I think you would be on safer footing to just state it as a belief, yet still in the pejorative.

Like sturgeons but unaffected by death, do souls continue to grow?

I assume this is reference to something, which you might want to specify, like

So a slight switch

Do our souls, like the essences say, continue to grow?
Are they like a sturgeon whose home is the universe,
growing until they bump up against the greater predators of the stars...

(the above is not meant as a poetic suggestion)

Thus instead of seeming to ask this question in the realm of factuality, it enters the realm of conjecture and whimsy, and encounters less resistance. It assumes to be true, those things that would be impossible to prove, and goes from there. It assumes there are souls, it is merely conjecturing if they are like such and such says.

I'm a little tired. Hope that makes the sense I am trying for it to make.sleep well, Yoda, you must
tectak

Dale

[rayheinrich]

I think "what if" is license enough to speculate as you please about the
"soul" thing. But sturgeons don't make for a good "unaffected by death"
metaphor. Not when they're being hunted to extinction and just saying
their name calls up visions of slit bellies bleeding caviar. Hmmm, wait,
maybe there's something to that metaphor after all. Souls emanating
from our slit bellies, Russian deamons paying top dollar...

[heslopian]

Thank you all for your kind and constructive feedback The sturgeon line was inspired by something my dad once told me about how some people believe sturgeons are immortal. After reading your critiques I think he may have been bullshitting me

[rayheinrich]

I just googled it, he wasn't totally bullshitting you, it seems they do
have a very long lifespan.

[tectak]

I just googled it, he wasn't totally bullshitting you, it seems they do
have a very long lifespan.

Long life is for uht cream. It is an infinitely long way from immortal!
Best,
Tectak