The Gay Confession, an experimental prose poem

[heslopian]

O my passion, my passion that roars through the darkling hollows of my adolescence to reach this new hole, my adulthood, an epoch in which desires must lead to action. The simple, brutish beauty of men. Why carnality must live inside a form so wrought with scars, the battle wounds of ugliness, is a question some sadistic God alone would know the answer to, chuckling at his own wit.
My first love was an entertainer, a clown in light blue uniform - shirt and shorts beneath spotlights, the actor's tanning bed - who strode the stage of a sweaty clubhouse. Twenty something, muscular, ladies man and no regrets. Even then I knew this flesh I was expanding constantly could never one day satisfy the thing I yearn to please the most.
Movies promised comradeship, those gay dramas of my youth, in which the handsome were coached by drag queens, led past rainbow flags, the clubs where love blossomed like light as darkness recedes at five. A shallow truth based on the few to soothe the cynical masses. Homosexuality holds as many romantics as the bars where breeders group to write their destiny in chance.
O my passion, my passion...

[Leanne]

You subverter of Whitman, you :p

Many, many great lines here Jack -- my particular favourites are "Even then I knew this flesh I was expanding constantly could never one day satisfy the thing I yearn to please the most" and one I disliked intensely on first read, which is often a clue for me that there's a reason it evokes some kind of slightly offended response, "Homosexuality holds as many romantics as the bars where breeders group to write their destiny in chance." (Nothing anti-gay, I just bloody hate the word "breeders", but I expect I'm supposed to Besides, I'm sure gay folk are called a whole lot worse than anything we nasty breeders have to deal with.)

So, both poem and format meet with my approval

[heslopian]

Thanks for the comment, Leanne
"Breeders" isn't even an insult really. It's like calling someone a "job creator" Though as I'm not the human race's biggest fan I don't regard it as too much of a compliment either

[billy]

i hate giving feedback on prose poetry
i saw the breeder statement of leannes and i think i the context of the poem it does have a negative feel for hetero couples. maybe i say that because i'm hetero hehe. either way i like the way it works.

the last two words of the piece feel (im not sure what word i'm looking for) but for me they don't work too well.

i think the o' passion is too obvious and i think maybe you meant it to be. what it did for me; was make me think of walt and his poem instead of making me think wholly of your poem and in that respect i think it subtracts from the poem (the o' passion in the first line at least, the last o' passion works really well.

lots and lots to like, to much to mention line by line.
My first love was an entertainer, a clown in light blue uniform - shirt and shorts beneath spotlights, the actor's tanning bed - who strode the stage of a sweaty clubhouse was my fave. for me it would make a good coming out poem but you're well past that

a nice piece of prose poetry, i really enjoyed the read.thanks.

[heslopian]

Thanks for the kind words and feedback Bilbo The poem's purple style was inspired by Lolita, which is very much "o my passion, my passion..." Glad you liked the entertainer line.