Fragment

[heslopian]

I picture T. S. Eliot saying, again and again,
in his hammy actor's voice:
"HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME.
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME."
That air raid siren calling death
down the stonewashed avenues.

[addy]

As a fragment this is very effective and stands well... the images are vivid and haunting. I think the beginning image is stronger than the end, but that's not a fault because honestly that was hard to top

[heslopian]

Thanks Addy Truth is I'd wanted to write a longer poem around this fragment, but ended up viewing it as so complete and precise I was scared I might spoil it.

[addy]

It's a stroke of genius precisely because it's not quite self-contained... ending where it did made it much more unnerving, like a great horror piece.

[billy]

I picture T. S. Eliot saying, again and again,
in his hammy actor's voice:
"HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME.
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME."
That air raid siren calling death
down the stonewashed avenues.

it feels ominous for such a short.
i like the image of eliot. the poem reminds of the opening verse of his poem;

an excerpt from; The waste land by T S Eliot.

The Burial of the Dead

April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

i'd love to see some vignettes along the same line with other poets and what they would say.

thanks for the read.

[heslopian]

Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Bilbo