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Allow me to uncover myself
I'll slowly peel my skin away
You will only see bones and ribbons of tissue
Not a monster who will leave you mauled
I'd give you everything
Without the want to take
If you'll let me
Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
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Hello Madame V, lovely to see you.
I still think this is a good poem, in an uncomfortable sort of way
It could be worse
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wow! lovely to see you here B
And thank you
Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
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(06-08-2011, 06:23 AM)violet Wrote: Allow me to uncover myself
I'll slowly peel my skin away
You will only see bones and ribbons of tissue
Not a monster who will leave you mauled
I'd give you everything
Without the want to take
If you'll let me
another nice short,
did you mean to have so much white space in between the lines?
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I love how you made not only the narrative of the piece engaging, but it was such a nice character piece for the narrator as well. It's like a darker version of the fox from "the little prince" (my favorite character!)
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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Like it. Like metaphor you put in it.
Wonderful piece!
R.Y.