Over the Parody the Ego Advances

[shemthepenman]

Remember the first time
you heard The Queen is Dead, by The Smiths?
Did it make you laugh, or cry a bit?
Did you see the sky, blue or black;
the lights and the people underneath,
laughing and crying, too,
like you’d never seen before?
And, did you bunk the next day of school
to go find the one you’d love, forever?
And, did you forget about love
and did love forget about you?
Did you crawl into a box next to a dog,
next to a bank,
next to a cathedral,
over a bridge,
opposite an art gallery?

[just mercedes]

The progression or juxtaposition of the images in the last 5 lines are great. I like your poem - only reservation is the 'next day' of school' - one day doesn't feel long enough to '... forget about love ...' but pow what an ending.

[shemthepenman]

The progression or juxtaposition of the images in the last 5 lines are great. I like your poem - only reservation is the 'next day' of school' - one day doesn't feel long enough to '... forget about love ...' but pow what an ending.

thanks. and yes, the one day thing is a problem. there was, in the original sketch for this, a line that rationalised the leap--something about getting distracted by alcohol or drugs, and then forgetting about love etc. etc. which then made the 'love forgetting about you' line more poignant--but somewhere in the edit i couldn't quite make it work, and decided to "settle"--as so often happens with my poems nowadays. still, i wanted to reflect a kind of snowball effect, whereby  life is condensed, or flattened under time. anyway, cheers, and if i ever come back to this one i'll definitely try to iron out that crease.

[Leanne]

I found The Smiths too late to make a difference,
and too early to make an exit. The sky stayed blue,
and black, and sat in judgment
on my sobriety. I walk past cemeteries,
write bloody awful poetry, and wish
for a new box.