Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
Angus in my school gear, listen to the play back
thrashin in a floor spin, solo on my way back.
Schenker in a vee pose, teasing out those notes
caught writing on my ruck sack, UFO got kept back.
Lynott slapping bass strings, with a little Irish in it
Shootin Lizzy on the park swings, never got that day back.
Tony with false fingers, plays the devil his three chords
Sabbath banned satanic, so crazy took the train back.
Singin in some late bar, been drinkin with the gang,
Time is On My Hands, but Friday nights won't come back.
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
just mercedes
Unregistered
A ghazal of rock'n'roll excess and living on the edge! It's a shame that it brought 'Get back' to my mind as the Beatles were just not heavy rock.  Very clever, and thanks for the music.
Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
Well bugger me, it's a ghazal! Each couplet is self-contained, with a neat little radif, and you've got your name worked into the last line very cleverly. Plus, who doesn't love some slammin' guitar riffs? Nicely done, Keith.
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
07-25-2016, 11:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-25-2016, 11:21 AM by billy.)
the world hates a show off, hi keith and well bloody done
Posts: 598
Threads: 83
Joined: Apr 2016
Keith, are you published? I'd love to get my hands on a collection if you have one floating around out there.
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
no he's catholic i think; on a serious note, he has some good poetry splashed around the site.
Posts: 580
Threads: 71
Joined: Oct 2015
'Kept', and 'train' slant rhyme with 'way', but 'come' doesn't.
Maybe 'sashay' / 'stray'?
Thanks to Leanne for pointing out the 'No time on his hands' ref.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
Posts: 598
Threads: 83
Joined: Apr 2016
(07-25-2016, 02:00 PM)billy Wrote: no he's catholic i think; on a serious note, he has some good poetry splashed around the site.
I just like having a book in my hands that's all. But, yes, I do stalk his work around the site.
Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
(07-25-2016, 09:16 AM)just mercedes Wrote: A ghazal of rock'n'roll excess and living on the edge! It's a shame that it brought 'Get back' to my mind as the Beatles were just not heavy rock. Very clever, and thanks for the music.
Excess indeed, I never thought about the get back link, but the Beatles probably had a big influence on most of these bands, I mean helter skelter, hey bulldog, dear prudence etc all rock in their own way. Thank JM much appreciated, Keith
(07-25-2016, 09:18 AM)Leanne Wrote: Well bugger me, it's a ghazal! Each couplet is self-contained, with a neat little radif, and you've got your name worked into the last line very cleverly. Plus, who doesn't love some slammin' guitar riffs? Nicely done, Keith.
Ha ha yes my one and only ghazal, glad you remembered TOMH I thought that might get missed hence the caps lol. Many thanks.
(07-25-2016, 11:20 AM)billy Wrote: the world hates a show off, hi keith and well bloody done
Thank you Billy I'm just glad it kind of works and you know me for every one that does there are another three that don't.
(07-25-2016, 01:58 PM)lizziep Wrote: Keith, are you published? I'd love to get my hands on a collection if you have one floating around out there.
You are very kind Lizziep. I'm not published but thanks for asking, anyway all my poems are in the pig pen but you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince, a few other poets are published and they have some great books out. Best Keith
(07-25-2016, 02:00 PM)billy Wrote: no he's catholic i think; on a serious note, he has some good poetry splashed around the site.
Some being the operative word
(07-25-2016, 06:11 PM)Achebe Wrote: 'Kept', and 'train' slant rhyme with 'way', but 'come' doesn't.
Maybe 'sashay' / 'stray'?
Thanks to Leanne for pointing out the 'No time on his hands' ref.
Yes Acebe time on my hands TOMH was my old nick until I became boring old keith and Billy's made us all post pictures of ourselves so I knew I would never get away with anything as glamorous as TOMH  thanks for the help on the poem I will have a look at what I can do to sort it. Best Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
|