spindrift

[srijantje]

winter is coming
too much central heating
spindrift longing

[ellajam]

Beautiful. I'm not sure you need "too much".

[srijantje]

maybe not ,but that's what I feel at the moment

[ChristopherSea]

What I love about the poem is the word 'spindrift.' It is quite visual, with lovely sonics, and it has some onomatopoeia working for it too. There is an intriguing contextual pun in your poem with the play on ‘spindrift’ longing within its own line and the pun on 'spendthrift' which echos back to the expense of winter heating bills on the line before it. Cool, even if coincidental. /Chris

[Erthona]

I'm sure I wrote something here. Oh well. I think I said, we call it cabin fever, and who stacked up those piles of rocks and why.

There is a difference between central heating and too much central heating, especially if cramped hot places make you feel claustrophobic. There is nothing like being able to step outside an inhale some crisp fresh alive air, before stepping back into the dead heat of the tightening womb.

How long does winter last for you?

dale

[srijantje]

the thing is I'm in comfortable europe at the moment,not my usual environment,longing for the mountains[few weeks away],def.too hot inside and yes,spending lots of money

[just mercedes]

I've always known spindrift as spume from waves in a storm - never thought of it in relationship to mountains. Quite a strange juxtaposition there for me.

[dwestmor]

I like this poems creaticreationg of longing. It works well without being forced. I think it comes from the line about the heating and I disagre with a previous poster who said too much wasn't necessary there. I think it fits perfeperfectly

[Erthona]

"def.too hot inside and yes,spending lots of money"

Poor thing!


dale

[srijantje]

hehe,back in the mountains
no central heating
snow swirling

[Leah S.]

what about implying more and also adding balance by replacing the first line with something like
"Not enough snow," ?

I know exactly the feeling you are talking about, too!

Leah

[srijantje]

it's a gut feeling