The "you" you've become

[Tdurr]

This was inspired by an old... Friend...

This isn't you;
In your tight jeans
with a cigarette between your teeth.
You're not "misunderstood,"
nor are you "finding yourself."
You are quitting, giving in.
What happened to you?
The perfectly polished hair.
The friendly white smile.
The drinking of cokes, not gin.
You aren't you,
not the "you" I fell in love with.
Not the "you" that you planed to be.
You've become what others wanted.
You've become different.
You've become the "you" I detest.

[Brownlie]

This was inspired by an old... Friend...

This isn't you;
In your tight jeans
with a cigarette between your teeth.
You're not "misunderstood,"
nor are you "finding yourself."
You are quitting, giving in.
What happened to you?
The perfectly polished hair.
The friendly white smile.
The drinking of cokes, not gin.
You aren't you,
not the "you" I fell in love with.
Not the "you" that you planed to be.
You've become what others wanted.
You've become different.
You've become the "you" I detest.

My hunger draws extremes from me
to sing a famished song
My toothache rotted in my mouth
to bid to sweet so long...

---

This was inspired by an old... Friend...

This isn't you;
In your tight jeans
with a cigarette between your teeth.
You're not "misunderstood,"
nor are you "finding yourself."
You are quitting, giving in.
What happened to you?
The perfectly polished hair.
The friendly white smile.
The drinking of cokes, not gin.
You aren't you,
not the "you" I fell in love with.
Not the "you" that you planed to be.
You've become what others wanted.
You've become different.
You've become the "you" I detest.

My hunger draws extremes from me
to sing a famished song
My toothache rotted in my mouth
to bid to sweet so long...

I guess I'm being facetious. The shifting you is an interesting concept as the self can be an important theme in poetry. If you're going for anaphora you may want to repeat the same "you've" consistently throughout the poem, but I'm not the best person to give advice.

[Kaldwin]

This was inspired by an old... Friend...

This isn't you;
In your tight jeans
with a cigarette between your teeth.
You're not "misunderstood,"
nor are you "finding yourself."
You are quitting, giving in.
What happened to you?
The perfectly polished hair.
The friendly white smile.
The drinking of cokes, not gin.
You aren't you,
not the "you" I fell in love with.
Not the "you" that you planed to be.
You've become what others wanted.
You've become different.
You've become the "you" I detest.

We've all lost people in this way. Not to some outwardly tragedy, but to the tragedy of who they are becoming. I can sense the loss in this piece.

The drinking of cokes, not gin.

This line reads a bit awkwardly. 'The drinking', is just a slightly jarring phrase. If you wish to start the line with 'the', might I suggest changing it to something along the lines of 'The cokes you drank, instead of gin.'

[Tdurr]

This was inspired by an old... Friend...

This isn't you;
In your tight jeans
with a cigarette between your teeth.
You're not "misunderstood,"
nor are you "finding yourself."
You are quitting, giving in.
What happened to you?
The perfectly polished hair.
The friendly white smile.
The drinking of cokes, not gin.
You aren't you,
not the "you" I fell in love with.
Not the "you" that you planed to be.
You've become what others wanted.
You've become different.
You've become the "you" I detest.

We've all lost people in this way. Not to some outwardly tragedy, but to the tragedy of who they are becoming. I can sense the loss in this piece.

The drinking of cokes, not gin.

This line reads a bit awkwardly. 'The drinking', is just a slightly jarring phrase. If you wish to start the line with 'the', might I suggest changing it to something along the lines of 'The cokes you drank, instead of gin.'

Thank you, when I was writing it, it seemed to not flow, but I just continued on

[JMSelden]

This poem as I read it, felt too straightforward.

Planned* of course. I don't need to tell anyone that.

I still enjoyed this poem though, maybe not the specific way you intended though.

[StandingAlone]

I find it relatable personally. It does lack metaphors though, but in this case its okay