The Dance

[Martyl]

Transfixed by her smile,
The swaying of her hips
The pouting of her lips,
How she moves her hands,
As she flows across the floor
Like ripples in a pond,
The rhythm of the beat
The samba in her feet,
The closing off of space
As we take our first embrace,
Though a hundred eyes upon us
We will not let them in,
To the story we've begun,
The smells, the sights the sounds
The energy abounds,
The caresses,touch and sighs
The passion in our eyes,
As we taste each other now,
For we are in a trance
At the movement of the dance,
In this ballroom of romance

[Erthona]

Hello Martyl, welcome to the site.

Firstly, you title is the same as one of the biggest and longest standing number one hits, so you may want to consider changing that to something else, unless you want to overlay the baggage of that song onto your poem, which I think you wouldn't.
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Nice rhyme scheme. I like sounds and abounds.
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These lines could use some tightening:

"The closing off of space
As we take our first embrace,
Though a hundred eyes upon us
We will not let them in,"

to

The closing off of space
we take our first embrace,
with a hundred eyes upon us
We will not let them in,
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I think I would consider dropping the last line as three rhymes on the same sound is a bit much.

Maybe

we are in a trance
by the movement of the dance
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The convention of starting every line with a cap went out in the 50's, primarily because it makes it harder to read. You probably want to throw a period in every now and then.
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best,


Dale

[Bunx]

Transfixed by her smile,
The swaying of her hips
The pouting of her lips,
How she moves her hands,
As she flows across the floor
Like ripples in a pond,
The rhythm of the beat
The samba in her feet,
The closing off of space
As we take our first embrace,
Though a hundred eyes upon us
We will not let them in,
To the story we've begun,
The smells, the sights the sounds
The energy abounds,
The caresses,touch and sighs
The passion in our eyes,
As we taste each other now,
For we are in a trance
At the movement of the dance,
In this ballroom of romance

this poem read quite well! really enjoyed the rhyme scheme in the rhythm of the poem definitely adds a musical element. a hand full of lines that would even make great song lyrics! thanks alot for the post