Mother Nature

[Dru Flores]

I look into the vast distance; passed the skies blue colorful hues
remembering how the hummingbird's chirp matched your wondrous' mood
you were subtle with gloom; singing it to sleep with lovable tunes
soothing any troubled creature that moved under the moon
the flowers would bloom; every time it sensed your motion in presence
your devotion to blessings captured rising oceans in essence
you glowed with fluorescent fragrances that flourished your life
time would stand still as your tranquil beauty allured in the night
You were the source of delight; and I assured your leave wasn't in vain
For your son is sustained; to shine his bright light on the coming of day
Through perilous clouds summoning gray; I'll clear a passage from the thunder and rain
illuminating all that plummet in pain: all when I hover above the terrain
Watch my radiance seize the hand, and dispose of the dire deeds of man
And from the trees and grass to the seas and sand; I promise there’ll be a peaceful land
Once that need is grant; I hope you smile like the sweet sun you savored
I’ll always remember you as my beloved creator; Mother Nature

[Brownlie]

I look into the vast distance; passed the skies blue colorful hues
remembering how the hummingbird's chirp matched your wondrous' mood
you were subtle with gloom; singing it to sleep with lovable tunes
soothing any troubled creature that moved under the moon
the flowers would bloom; every time it sensed your motion in presence
your devotion to blessings captured rising oceans in essence
you glowed with fluorescent fragrances that flourished your life
time would stand still as your tranquil beauty allured in the night
You were the source of delight; and I assured your leave wasn't in vain
For your son is sustained; to shine his bright light on the coming of day
Through perilous clouds summoning gray; I'll clear a passage from the thunder and rain
illuminating all that plummet in pain: all when I hover above the terrain
Watch my radiance seize the hand, and dispose of the dire deeds of man
And from the trees and grass to the seas and sand; I promise there’ll be a peaceful land
Once that need is grant; I hope you smile like the sweet sun you savored
I’ll always remember you as my beloved creator; Mother Nature

Your personified sky needs an apostrophe.

[Dinosta]

I look into the vast distance; past the sky's blue colorful hues
remembering how the hummingbird's chirp matched your wondrous mood.
You were subtle with gloom. Singing it to sleep with lovable tunes.
Soothing any troubled creature that moved under the moon.
The flowers would bloom; every time they sensed your motion in presence
your devotion to blessings captured rising oceans in essence(This sounds nice, but what is the essence of a rising ocean?)
you glowed with fluorescent fragrances that flourished your life (This line needs work. "Flourished your life" is a poor choice.)
time would stand still(cliche) as your tranquil beauty allured in the night
You were the source of delight; and I assured your leave wasn't in vain
For your son is sustained; to shine his bright light on the coming of day
Through perilous clouds summoning gray; I'll clear a passage from the thunder and rain
illuminating all that plummet in pain: all when I hover above the terrain
Watch my radiance seize the hand, and dispose of the dire deeds of man
And (delete) from the trees and grass to the seas and sand; I promise there’ll be a peaceful land
Once that need is grant'(Try to rework the line, "grant' " seems lazy); I hope you smile like the sweet sun you savored
I’ll always remember you as my beloved creator; Mother Nature

This isn't terrible but it could definitely use some work. I can tell that sometimes you only include a word of phrase because it rhymes. You should try your hardest not to do that. When you do it, you certainly shouldn't let it be obvious to the reader (e.i. awkward phrasing and/or poor rhythm). You should also work on your rhythm overall. You have patches throughout (lines 5 and 6 for example) where there seems to be a rhythm but it keeps getting interrupted.

[Erthona]

I don't think the center justify makes much sense here. There are a number of grammatical and tense errors as well as forced rhymes. The tone is condescending, it is easy to take pot shots at humans. This is really no different than the victim imagining him/herself when on day they will have the power to crush and make pay all their prosecutors. So this simply ends up as a rant,rather than anything showing insight.

Dale

[Dru Flores]

This was actually written to a hip hop beat lol. Thanks for the honest critique though, I'll try to take everything in..

[Sequel]

To be honest I don't agree with most people's criticism of your rhyme scheme. Nothing seemed forced to me, and that means a lot coming from my direction considering I usually detest rhyme schemes such as this one. However, I do agree that the piece could do without the cliches/unimpressive descriptions. "...time would stand still" and "bright light" could've been written in a different manner. Other than that, I enjoyed it!! Great job.