Posts: 337
Threads: 203
Joined: May 2013
Willy,
this site we got here,
often silly. is full of billys
nice, firm, hard, righteous,
bodacious, absurd, futuristic
ritualistic. haven't you heard?
we are digging up a dinosaur here
bill! by the will of man, nothing
perfect gets laid to rest before
it is exposed!..
meh it looks so good here bill,
in the cleavage of this rock. we
can blow it up. even if mr.
rushmoore tells us so. symbols
are symbols that heroes will never
see. do you think that he wants me
and you to see? we just killed a fossil
bill. by that i mean.
history
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 123
Threads: 15
Joined: Jun 2013
(06-27-2013, 11:52 PM)Bunx Wrote: Willy,
this site we got here,
often silly. is full of billys
nice, firm, hard, righteous,
bodacious, absurd, futuristic
ritualistic. haven't you heard?
we are digging up a dinosaur here
bill! by the will of man, nothing
perfect gets laid to rest before
it is exposed!..
meh it looks so good here bill,
in the cleavage of this rock. we
can blow it up. even if mr.
rushmoore tells us so. symbols
are symbols that heroes will never
see. do you think that hero wants me
and you to see? we just killed a fossil
bill. by that i mean.
history
lol. I got lost in this piece, it could use some more explaining, details and imagery would add nicely to what your trying to convey.
Posts: 337
Threads: 203
Joined: May 2013
i guess the poems theme is the history and death. and how subtle changes in lifes work can alter everything.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 2,602
Threads: 303
Joined: Feb 2017
(06-29-2013, 12:49 AM)Bunx Wrote: i guess the poems theme is the history and death. and how subtle changes in lifes work can alter everything.
Yeh...I guess. life's needs apostrophe.
best
tectak
Posts: 68
Threads: 10
Joined: Mar 2013
This was a fun read! My favorite line is "we can blow it up". It has personality and the turn of words fits nicely after "in the cleavage of this rock." I am not sure I understand why you chose these particular line breaks, though I don't claim to know very much about that aspect of poetry. Also, the bit about heroes was a bit lost on me. But overall, I liked how this piece has 'voice'. Thanks!
Posts: 337
Threads: 203
Joined: May 2013
thanks! i don't know if this is even a poem. more of doodling! thanks for the feedback!
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 337
Threads: 203
Joined: May 2013
yall <3
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 3
Threads: 0
Joined: Jun 2024
A fabulous poem on your fantastic thoughts of I assume to be this site. As a newbie I read it as a very positive affectionate witty review
