Let me write you

[KICKBACK]

Let me write you
because I'm drunk again
Angry at you all
What else is new again
Give me more to drink
and maybe I will just get louder
Maybe I'll shut up
You actually did me a favor
It won't be forgotten
if I break out in a rant
Chanting and hollering
Making a scene
and not giving a fuck
Down and left only to luck
Bail me out I say
I'm drunk again
I need a ride home and
I don't even know where that is
I should have paid attention
instead of not listening
My cards are dealt and I must recover
Faith in a bucket
Just waiting for water

"Go to sleep tonight
It's already 2:30"
I can't I am still drinking
Leave me alone right now
Give me five minutes
Just some time to call to myself
I hate living
I want to be drunk so I drink some more
Maybe I can sneak out of here
and get into my car
"Where will you drive to
At this point it doesn't matter"
You are right
it doesn't
But I can only think of one place better

Passed out at the liquor store
Right around the back
Didn't even make it to my car
because I hated it
I sat down here
so that I could fall
Comfortable enough
so I started to dream
I woke up and sure enough
This is the middle of nowhere
I'm in a daze
I don't know how I could be sure
I want to throw up
but it's everything I drank
I need this fade to last longer
Let me see if I can stumble
to the next liquor store

"Sorry we're closed"
I don't understand
English words I can no longer comprehend
I'm slurring at the guy
He has to let me in
I'm pissed off now
but for another thing
He's just facing me
with a bewildered look
I want to kill him
but I know I can't
No drink for me tonight
and I am sad
I spared this man
and for that I think
the reason he went to his car
to give me my last sip to drink
he pulled out a bottle nearly empty
threw it at me and I smiled
was that he knew too
We have all been there before
"Here drink some more
see if it doesn't kill ya"

I wish I could say I didn't drink that day
but I did

[rowens]

I like this part

"I should have paid attention
instead of not listening"


This could use some condensing. Though the subject doesn't demand it, the poetry of it does.

But you can say what you think about it. See how you feel about going about the poetry of it. How much drunken logic you think could be spared. If any.

And work from there.

[Heartafire]

Let me write you
because I'm drunk again
Angry at you all do you need "all"
What else is new again what else is new? maybe drop the use of again twice so close together
Give me more to drink
and maybe I will just get louder
Maybe I'll shut up again the same word in close prox.
You actually did me a favor you did me a favor
It won't be forgotten
if I break out in a rant If I rant, chant, and holler?
Chanting and hollering
Making a scene make a scene, not give a fuck
and not giving a fuck
Down and left only to luck
Bail me out I say
I'm drunk again
I need a ride home and
I don't even know where that is
I should have paid attention
instead of not listening
My cards are dealt and I must recover
Faith in a bucket
Just waiting for water

"Go to sleep tonight
It's already 2:30"
I can't I am still drinking
Leave me alone right now
Give me five minutes
Just some time to call to myself
I hate living
I want to be drunk so I drink some more
Maybe I can sneak out of here
and get into my car
"Where will you drive to
At this point it doesn't matter"
You are right
it doesn't
But I can only think of one place better

Passed out at the liquor store
Right around the back
Didn't even make it to my car
because I hated it
I sat down here
so that I could fall
Comfortable enough
so I started to dream
I woke up and sure enough
This is the middle of nowhere
I'm in a daze
I don't know how I could be sure
I want to throw up
but it's everything I drank
I need this fade to last longer
Let me see if I can stumble
to the next liquor store

"Sorry we're closed"
I don't understand
English words I can no longer comprehend
I'm slurring at the guy
He has to let me in
I'm pissed off now
but for another thing
He's just facing me
with a bewildered look
I want to kill him
but I know I can't
No drink for me tonight
and I am sad
I spared this man
and for that I think
the reason he went to his car
to give me my last sip to drink
he pulled out a bottle nearly empty
threw it at me and I smiled
was that he knew too
We have all been there before
"Here drink some more
see if it doesn't kill ya"

I wish I could say I didn't drink that day
but I did

Hi, I also feel this could be condensed. I am not a fan of wordy poetry. I have left some suggestions to be binned at will. I also noticed some grammatical errors, punct. may be helpful to the reader
due to the length. I hope I have been of some help. With a few revisions I think this will be good, a nice concept to work with.
my best,
Heart

[KICKBACK]

Let me see if I can't do anything with this...and I have lol

[UnicornRainbowCake]

I don't have much else to say that everyone else hasn't - though I do agree that it needs condensing, but you've been given lots of tips on how to do that.

You need to introduce some kind of punctation into it - you put capital letters at the start of where you want a new sentence, but don't put a full stop at the end It doesn't work so well.