We.

[Isis]

I don't know how other people feel about the writer explaining the poem (and I'll defer if there's a community standard), but I usually take it as the opening of a discussion - now that I understand where you're coming from and what you're trying to achieve with the poem, we can figure out ways to make the poem better do those things and convey those ideas.

The first stanza describes a woman's organ, and how much power and control it has over the souls of men. It yearns burns and begs. It is temptation.

The second stanza refers to the speakers desire for more than just a wife, he wants multiple partners. He can make all sorts of justifications in his own mind for his actions, but shivering hurried and hot refers to the pure physicality of his actions.

Ok, I think I'm on the same page as you in the first couplet -- I think that communicates really well. But in the second couplet, how important to you is your way/the right way of reading the poem? Because "the want" in the second couplet is detached from a particular person in the poem, I ended up interpreting it as the woman's want more than the speaker's want. I wonder if there's a way to show that it's the man who wants more? Or a way to dip into both perspectives for awhile - the woman who wants to be more than 'just' a wife, and the man who wants more than one woman in his life? I think just changing "The want" to "His want" or even making "want" a verb rather than a noun might clear things up - but there could be other ways of achieving the same effect.

The shallow with in ourselves is our debase thought. Egotism and animalism. It tells us our actions are ok or even required. It allows us to contain our shame. It is this shallow which allows men to partake in the temptation beyond "mere wife" and give up on empathy with the admittance that it isn't necessary or important to consider the feelings of anyone around him.

Hm... I wonder if it would be possible to continue "the shallow" metaphor into something more concrete as a way of getting this particular across? I took "the shallow within ourselves" to be our first reactions, our quick judgements, our prejudices. Like a shallow self within the bigger self. I can see how it could refer to egotism, animalism and 'base' thought, especially in the context of this poem, but as you can tell that connection wasn't strong enough for me to 'get it' the first few times I read the poem, and I don't think I would have fully gotten there without your explanation. I wonder if other readers got similarly sidetracked here? I suggested continuing the metaphor because "the shallow" on its own could be imagined or construed in a number of different ways, and if you continue it to contain a more concrete image or metaphor for animal urges or egotism we'll be able to connect with your intention better, and I think also connect previous parts of the poem with the end of the poem. I'm not sure what the "right" metaphor is for that - it's your poem, and I'm sure you have ideas. My only suggestion would be to aim for something concrete and imaginable, more image than internal. Especially because we get character and emotion description at the end of the line in "extolls cajoles and contains" - I want a better picture of who/what is doing those things.

Is the last line of the poem meant to be read with "ending empathy" as one phrase and "discovered in apathy" as another? I saw it as "empathy discovered in apathy", thus my confusion! Maybe the way the line is punctuated could clear things up.

Anyway, just a little more about my perspective, and a few places where you could tweak the poem. Keep in mind that this is one reader's reaction - other readers might have other reactions. But if you find that others are also getting a tad lost in the poem or interpret it differently than you intended, that could be a signal to edit parts of the poem to clarify it.