Generations

[Philatone]

hey dale

looking at the first and last stanza, specifically

Version 2
We are split you see, more than generationally,
but man from man, not just son from father,...again, "generationally" does cover your bases, so the "son...father...daughter...mother may not be needed
or mother from daughter; although we are peas
shelled from the same great pod,...peas in a pod is still cliche
and yet we find difference,
and blinded by arrogance judge it as a sure defense
in wanton acts of cultural and actual genocide
we think our holiness the same as God....this is heavily abstract so far. a part of me wants something to grab onto
Still, only human feet have here trod,
grinding our kind to bone and blood,
the Profane in us as rampant as before the flood. ..I like the flood image

Though subtle, the hand of self-centeredness is truly binding,
laying our soul’s winding on it’s loom
of greed and lust and thus we know nothing but a doom
that denies any pretense to unsullied innocence.

Soon my friends our life’s payment will come due,
in your eyes I see you know this too,
as bankrupt we stand on ever shifting quicksand,
our heads in hands -salt burnt tear blinded eyes-
yet it is only at our self pity do we cry,
as we’ve not the means, or knowledge to get by,
now that we find ourselves here,
at the end of our life's year.

I hear you weakness try and justify, ..."your"?
"What else can we do when Armageddon comes but fly?...get the idea, but its length and complexity do it few favors
Does it matter how long or short the hour,
when we eventually succumb to a coward's
faint heart, whether slowly or quickly we die?” ...lot of question words and clauses going on (does...how....when....whether)
So, will you not then stand with tightened jaw,
fist balled, and chest outthrust against the ravenous tide,...."ravenous" is better
miming the false bravery displayed in life, as you die?...what false bravery? I feel assumptions and generalizations being made without explanation or demonstrations[
And does it matter as it so easily rolls you under
and forgotten, your only purpose
used dirt to form another layer of sand,....feels like a verb or something is missing before "used," or maybe it's the tense of the verb
where the next great group of fools
can blindly take their stand?