Queen

[billy]

VERSION 3: ( edited S2 L1 ten minutes later thank you Leanne!)

Prick of lips, smearing dye, sticks needles
through my spindled eye; in the darkness
I spin, a splendid gold thing. I spin.
In the day we sit happy. He and I,
opposite cups of tepid tea
under ever after weather,
clinking only as we stir.

How I miss hands and knees rough
from praying to the floors, calluses alive.
The indignity of hate feels less now,
less than the indignity of love.

Our chats are mild - hopesdreamswishes -
and my voice well hides the sounds of mice;
crawling, clawing, beneath the paradox
of one glass shoe.

wow. now for me this has that wow feeling.
i would pay to read poetry like this.
i can't/am not able to fault it. everything about it works.
after reading this we need to see more poetry off you, you're certainly capable enough to write and post it.

one of the best expanded edits i've seen on a poem.
it's like we're related (almost)

great work addy