Queen

[Leanne]

Hi addy, thought you could do with some attention and this has been hiding for a long time

This needs a lot of work... please suggest something

Queen


Sticky lips
smearing dye
stick needles -- what about "with needles stuck"?
through a spindled eye -- I like what you've done with the rhymes, they're not too obtrusive
Sits splendid as
He sips his tea
All too important
Not to speak -- for who? I'm guessing her, not him, but "all too important" makes this weak, even a subtle piece of action would improve the line before this, something like "and she remembers"

And wonders -- I would get rid of the line break, and have "and wonders how she misses", then "when callouses" on a line apart as it is now gains more emphasis
how she misses
when callouses
cared enough to hurt;
Smiles near perfect -- "near perfect smiles" might work better, for sonics
as she hides the sound of mice -- nice assonance and alliteration in these lines
under the heel of her -- you could try "beneath" instead
one glass shoe

I enjoyed the use of fairytale as allusion and I think you've done it quite well