The Adventurer's Manifesto

[billy]

Beauty so harsh and ucompromising, uncomp.....
glistening like cellophane
caught by the midday light,
no God to blunder blindly through. this line feels a little too dramatic for me. if you want to say it why not just "no God"
This is the vision of which I have dreamed is 'this is' needed?
in camps below the moon.
Freed from man's stupidity
and his cleverness, his ambitions,
daily life, wating for a taxicab, waiting
the last chair at the coffee house.

To see a flower grow then die, (a bit cliche)
rivers wash away their banks,
sunlight soak an arctic field, love this line (Arctic)
the meaningless circles of life, is 'the' and 'of life' needed, it feels lion kingish
the pepetual motion machine, perpetual, is 'the' and 'machine' needed?
this is the vision of which I have dreamed.

some spelling mistakes jack, (do you have a spell checker?)

i like the tie in of the first line with arctic fields as a harsh beauty. i think beauty in this instance works. i also like the 2nd line because for me it's a good image. thanks for the read as always jack