08-14-2011, 06:22 AM
Sid, I haven't much to say in the way of serious critique for this one -- I'm pretty sure I know that guy though 
I love "controlled mendacities", and I also like the contrast between his POV of believing that his "well placed, unassuming glances" go unnoticed, while she "can't help thinking of that roach". I do find L7 a bit on the cliched side, and you could probably do without the "undressing" part.
It's a very fine two-part poem.
I love "controlled mendacities", and I also like the contrast between his POV of believing that his "well placed, unassuming glances" go unnoticed, while she "can't help thinking of that roach". I do find L7 a bit on the cliched side, and you could probably do without the "undressing" part.It's a very fine two-part poem.
It could be worse