06-08-2011, 05:28 PM
This is my first proper critique, so please just read it as my personal opinions. Enjoyed the poem very much, some standout lines and imagery. To echo what Addy wrote, it has an ethereal and fragile quality which I love.
(06-08-2011, 06:46 AM)violet Wrote: Lost
held by you
wrapped in grace
inhaling dew from perfumed exchange I like this line a lot.
exquisite aromas rising from between two
supple waves of spell binding titillation
given by your lips
only consummates my adoration Consummates seems a bit incongruous - maybe "completes" or something that suggests "growth" or "complettion" or something similar? That said, the connotations of the word "consummate" has a good effect.
blossoming beneath untamed energy
i become a glittering ocean Beautiful imagery.
slowly you drift
into me
Bliss