Sleepless

[billy]

It’s been said far too many times
The teddy isn’t comforting enough
The blankets are cold
The bed too large
(it’s downsized and yet there’s still too much space) this line feels a little redundant as we know the beds too large irrespective of the size

I say everything too much because
I’m afraid would 'because' be better on this line or not used at all?
You’ll forget them if I pause
Long enough to breathe

I’m tossing and turning
Restless in the grip of for me the 'of' would work better on the next line
Nightmares that mock me with your face
And your name on my lips as I’m released from is 'and' needed?
Hel hell, the enjambment feels shaky
And all her promises of half-dead romance

I say things too much because
I’m scared
I’ll forget how to express
Everything

It’s been said far too many times who by? it feels like the reader is left out of the loop
You make the bad things go away
The nights are perfect is 'are' needed?
The time endless
(if only I could stop it when we needed to… all the time)

I say things too much because
I don’t know
How to say them
‘Just enough’

Time and distance are one and the same
And you’re far too long away from me
For anything to be comfortable in this
Un-dead dream that
Threatens my reality

(did you know you keep me real?) feels a little forced

for me the poem could o,prove from some work on the enjambment Mrs sin. that said the poem carries a sense of loneliness and a resigned commonality when the one we love isn't there. some good lines. i thought the 1st and the 5th verse work really well and helped pull the poem together.

i like the fact it isn't a heavy poem. for me it would have read better had it ended after comfortable. (all jmo). as always, thank you for posting