A Queen Considers Her Options

[heslopian]

A dark and beautiful interpretation of "Snow White," effectively mixing soft images with violent undertones.

It was the red of a blush
that virginal second glance.

Would a comma after "blush" be of use? This couplet confused me for a second at first, as the lines ran into each other.

The flawless flesh—
an ice-covered pond dusted
with morning flakes.

Excellent.

It was the shape of her heart,
or so she’d been told,
like rare steak
pulsing, wet
beneath her teeth,

Mesmeric; gruesome and divine. One nit, though: the transition from comparing her heart to a steak to "wet beneath her teeth" is slightly clunky, at least in my opinion. Again, the lines ran into each other a bit, and thus left me a tad confused. Would it work better like this?:

It was the shape of her heart,
or so she’d been told,
like rare steak
pulsing. The meat lay wet
beneath her teeth,

sucking the gristle
fingers wiped,
folded primly,
primping before
a looking glass.

Excellent.

Fairer yet, and fairer still,
a crystal coffin set above
the moist earth
black soil bubbling up
caught in the throat
a cold, sharp
apple

skin

peeling back white
as snow.

I love the blend of decadence ("crystal coffin") with sinister imagery ("black soil bubbling").