11-25-2010, 10:55 AM
I loved this. The setup in the first verse was outstanding, and just the idea of this was packed with so much character it left me grinning. I think the end part is needed (that's the point!)... but if you want it can be written in a way (language?) that's more in-keeping with the character of these urban ghosts.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
