Treacherous Conditions

[Mrs-Sin]

The wind strokes its icy fingers through my hair,
Pulling and tangling in its enthusiasm
At having found a playmate that allows its affections.

The snow feathers kisses on my cheeks, my eyelashes
Complimenting my pale skin with its own icy complexion
Trying to draw the rose in my blood to my cheeks.

The deepest black in the heart of the ice returns
The glare I direct at it, uncaring for my disdain
Or the hatred the other elements feel towards it.

The blue in my lips cannot be matched by any
Save the paint on the car that fell prey to the ice;
Ice that only wanted to see how much life is in
A drop of blood as it unwinds from my mouth.

[Todd]

Hello Mrs-Sin,

The more I read your work, the more I find things I like about it. This is a nice piece. I'll share some suggestions that you can either use or discard:

The wind strokes its icy fingers through my hair,--don't think you need "its" here
Pulling and tangling in its enthusiasm--maybe: "with" instead of "in its"
At having found a playmate that allows its affections.

The snow feathers kisses on my cheeks, my eyelashes--just an opinion here the my cheeks, my eyelashes feels a little long to me. I think it's a much stronger tighter read if you chose just one. I think it reads smoother and has more impact. My preference would be eyelashes. Feathers kisses is a beautiful choice. So: The snow feathers kisses on my eyelashes
Complimenting my pale skin with its own icy complexion--minor typo did you mean Complementing? Good line
Trying to draw the rose in my blood to my cheeks.--something that could come across cliche doesn't because of how you build the structure

The deepest black in the heart of the ice returns--great line
The glare I direct at it, uncaring for my disdain
Or the hatred the other elements feel towards it.--you could probably cut "towards it" I think it's implied by "returns"

The blue in my lips cannot be matched by any--you may not need "by any"
Save the paint on the car that fell prey to the ice;-- Good line. You might be able to condense the thoughts of this line and the next by stopping the line on prey and starting to the next line with "to the"
Ice that only wanted to see how much life is in
A drop of blood as it unwinds from my mouth.--I absolutely love the last two lines.

I hope some of the comments will be helpful to you.

Best,

Todd

[billy]

The wind strokes its icy fingers through my hair, [is 'its' needed?]
Pulling and tangling in its enthusiasm
At having found a playmate that allows its affections.[would 'affectation" work better?]

The snow feathers kisses on my cheeks, my eyelashes
Complimenting my pale skin with its own icy complexion
Trying to draw the rose in my blood to my cheeks. [is there one cheek too many? this is the 2nd in the same verse, it neither echoes of supports the first use, the choice is which one to keek]

The deepest black in the heart of the ice returns [black is black perhaps another modifier would work better than deepest?]
The glare I direct at it, uncaring for my disdain
Or the hatred the other elements feel towards it. [is the 2nd 'the, and 'towards it' needed? ]

The blue in my lips cannot be matched by any
Save the paint on the car that fell prey to the ice;
Ice that only wanted to see how much life is in
A drop of blood as it unwinds from my mouth.
[the last verse is the cherry on the cake.]

i think with a small edit this is def publishable. my one nit would be the use of caps on every line, though it's only a personal nit .
the poem is fluid and original to me. i love the last verse which bring the whole poem together.

you turned the ice into an entity and did so well.

thanks for the read Mrs-Sin (jmo)

[Mrs-Sin]

The wind strokes icy fingers through my hair,
Pulling and tangling with enthusiasm
At having found a playmate that allows its affections.

The snow feathers kisses on my eyelashes
Complementing my pale skin with its own icy complexion
Trying to draw the rose in my blood to my cheeks.

The deepest black in the heart of the ice returns
The glare I direct at it, uncaring for my disdain
Or the hatred the other elements feel.

The blue in my lips cannot be matched
Save by the paint on the car that fell victim
To the ice that only wanted to see how much life is in
A drop of blood as it unwinds from my mouth.

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Thank you very much for your feedback! Todd, I did consider your alteration for the last verse, but it didn't feel as powerful until I changed 'prey' to 'victim'. Thanks again for your critiques!

So the inspiration for this one would be the recent cold snap and how the UK is unable to deal with sudden snowfalls and overnight freezing. The story behind it is how a car going past me hit a patch of black ice and came very close to mounting the pavement and hitting me. Scary stuff.