11-21-2010, 03:23 AM
I feel kind of privileged to have read this revised version first
It's always refreshing to read an internet poet who cares more about imagery than self-pity, and the images here are fantastic. The "cyclops" line is nothing new, though it does have its place; the idea of the "carouseling stare" is wonderful, but I'm not sure "carouseling" is a word; would "carousel" make more sense?
I'm not really sure what the last verse means, but I like it nonetheless. There's a nice, rich air of mystery permeating this piece.
It's always refreshing to read an internet poet who cares more about imagery than self-pity, and the images here are fantastic. The "cyclops" line is nothing new, though it does have its place; the idea of the "carouseling stare" is wonderful, but I'm not sure "carouseling" is a word; would "carousel" make more sense?I'm not really sure what the last verse means, but I like it nonetheless. There's a nice, rich air of mystery permeating this piece.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe