i like this.
for me it would flow a little better if these three verse started off the poem;
Friday, Saturday,
Sunday, Monday -
have come and gone
Not unlike a harsh
recoil of a shotgun
I’m afraid Lord!
Grandma has had
a heart attack every day,
and last night
I awoke at 3:30 am
just after her last one.
I’m afraid for her Lord.
You hold the number
of her days in Your hand.
Please keep her heart
beating.
which in itself feels like a very poignant poem.
wouldn't alter anything else because i enjoyed the read
for me it would flow a little better if these three verse started off the poem;
Friday, Saturday,
Sunday, Monday -
have come and gone
Not unlike a harsh
recoil of a shotgun
I’m afraid Lord!
Grandma has had
a heart attack every day,
and last night
I awoke at 3:30 am
just after her last one.
I’m afraid for her Lord.
You hold the number
of her days in Your hand.
Please keep her heart
beating.
which in itself feels like a very poignant poem.
wouldn't alter anything else because i enjoyed the read