06-23-2010, 05:15 PM
Again, lovely theme imagery, but it somehow feels like two different poems. Perhaps if you rearrange it a bit - begin with grandma, then the daisies, then the bouquet of daisies? - it'll feel more cohesive. Not necessarily in that order, but I do believe that rearranging the poem would make grandma's introduction less jarring.
(Alternately, you can turn this into a cycle poem again; your flow of imagery in this poem may be best expressed in cycle poetry).
(Alternately, you can turn this into a cycle poem again; your flow of imagery in this poem may be best expressed in cycle poetry).