06-15-2024, 01:55 PM
Love the idea and wisdom of the poem. Completely agree with concept, and occasional confusion that does come from messages sent to us by our largest organ.
And while I hate to be redundant, I simply cannot improve upon the suggestions that Tiger made. He makes surgical cuts and removes words that seem superfluous to me. Words that actually somewhat detract from the rhythm and flow IMO.
Just my thoughts. Your original version is also really good as it is.
And while I hate to be redundant, I simply cannot improve upon the suggestions that Tiger made. He makes surgical cuts and removes words that seem superfluous to me. Words that actually somewhat detract from the rhythm and flow IMO.
Just my thoughts. Your original version is also really good as it is.