03-27-2022, 05:06 PM
Wavey,
Welcome to the site. Critiquing poetry is how we get better.
Poetry does not allow poor writers an easy way out. That's what I thought and how I got into poetry. I was a poor writer. It also does not allow one to recycle ideas that have been overused, which is most of what you have written here; poor grammar and unoriginal thoughts. The only original thought here is "gyrating in a motion picture", unfortunately it makes no sense. "gyrating" does not enhance "motion picture" nor vice versa. Maybe try your hand at formal poetry to learn a sense of structure and rhythm.
best,
dale
Welcome to the site. Critiquing poetry is how we get better.
Poetry does not allow poor writers an easy way out. That's what I thought and how I got into poetry. I was a poor writer. It also does not allow one to recycle ideas that have been overused, which is most of what you have written here; poor grammar and unoriginal thoughts. The only original thought here is "gyrating in a motion picture", unfortunately it makes no sense. "gyrating" does not enhance "motion picture" nor vice versa. Maybe try your hand at formal poetry to learn a sense of structure and rhythm.
best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.