10-13-2020, 11:22 AM
I like the dramatic cadence of the verses which add to the mysterious atmosphere. Who is the child? Why is the child crying? Is it the cry that happens at birth? Is the speaker the same child as a grownup remembering the events of his or her life? Or is it someone else?
What is exactly is the darkness? It the cause of the child’s weeping. What is the book that is being read about? The poems ending seems to indicate an inevitable outcome of death. Does the child represent us all as mortal humans? We arrive on this world crying and perhaps leave it in a mournful state. What is the switch that is reached for? All of these help in creating a very interesting poem.
Suggestion:
The expression “others are given” is too vague and made me pause for too long to try to unravel its meaning.
I like the rhyme of the words fear and appear and wait and penetrates.
The first stanza would sound more dramatic without the conjunction “and”.
Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
What is exactly is the darkness? It the cause of the child’s weeping. What is the book that is being read about? The poems ending seems to indicate an inevitable outcome of death. Does the child represent us all as mortal humans? We arrive on this world crying and perhaps leave it in a mournful state. What is the switch that is reached for? All of these help in creating a very interesting poem.
Suggestion:
The expression “others are given” is too vague and made me pause for too long to try to unravel its meaning.
I like the rhyme of the words fear and appear and wait and penetrates.
The first stanza would sound more dramatic without the conjunction “and”.
Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. Looking forward to reading more of your work.