04-11-2020, 09:15 AM
Hello,
I enjoyed the structure and style of this poem, it seems to capture racing, doubtful thoughts. I also liked the rhyming, I'm partial to rhyming haha.
If you want to follow the gut feeling that it's too short, I do think some of the lines could be developed a little more so that they are less vague. Instead of saying "Does this..." you could say "Does ____ " with more description. Also, you could add one non-question line after each stanza of questions. Just some suggestions! Thanks for sharing your writing.
I enjoyed the structure and style of this poem, it seems to capture racing, doubtful thoughts. I also liked the rhyming, I'm partial to rhyming haha.
If you want to follow the gut feeling that it's too short, I do think some of the lines could be developed a little more so that they are less vague. Instead of saying "Does this..." you could say "Does ____ " with more description. Also, you could add one non-question line after each stanza of questions. Just some suggestions! Thanks for sharing your writing.