04-10-2020, 08:02 PM
Luckily I’ve always had a way with cats.
My sister’s tom’s been running off,
slipping the noose,
since kittenhood, but you,
you’re a homing one.
You’ve never been streetwise,
never had much of a penchant for escape.
Your particular markings
(one grey splash distinct
on the black nap of your right flank)
make you easy to recognise
when you melt onto my stoop
out of the shadows,
before I can blink.
One saucer of milk is all it takes;
most nights, you pad in and lap,
and lick your whiskers clean,
purring your happiness;
leap from the wicker basket,
dispatch, with a quick claw-swipe,
a flash of fangs, whatever mice or rats
haunt my attic;
no need for traps, with you around.
When the lamp goes out
you curl yourself up near my head,
vibrant with sound: small familiar,
guardian spirit.
——
I wrote this for NaPo and thought I’d post it up for crit. Prompt was to write a poem comparing sleep to an animal. I’m awful with titles - sorry about that.
Critique 1: http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-22732.html
Critique 2: http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-22718.html
Apologies for the formatting. I’m on mobile and not sure how to change the font or fix the hyperlinks. Will fix it tomorrow, when I’m in front of my computer.
Edited to remove initial capitals from each line.
My sister’s tom’s been running off,
slipping the noose,
since kittenhood, but you,
you’re a homing one.
You’ve never been streetwise,
never had much of a penchant for escape.
Your particular markings
(one grey splash distinct
on the black nap of your right flank)
make you easy to recognise
when you melt onto my stoop
out of the shadows,
before I can blink.
One saucer of milk is all it takes;
most nights, you pad in and lap,
and lick your whiskers clean,
purring your happiness;
leap from the wicker basket,
dispatch, with a quick claw-swipe,
a flash of fangs, whatever mice or rats
haunt my attic;
no need for traps, with you around.
When the lamp goes out
you curl yourself up near my head,
vibrant with sound: small familiar,
guardian spirit.
——
I wrote this for NaPo and thought I’d post it up for crit. Prompt was to write a poem comparing sleep to an animal. I’m awful with titles - sorry about that.
Critique 1: http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-22732.html
Critique 2: http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-22718.html
Apologies for the formatting. I’m on mobile and not sure how to change the font or fix the hyperlinks. Will fix it tomorrow, when I’m in front of my computer.
Edited to remove initial capitals from each line.