In The Grave

[20_Hamilton_18]

Hey poetkitten, new here so take my opinions with a grain of salt. Given the subject matter I am not convinced that the use of rhyming verse fits tonally with the kind of emotions which you are trying to convey. Perhaps this is a choice on your part stylistically to contrast with image and the message? What I do like is the abrupt nature of the imagery for me that evokes and sits well with the drop of blood image that we are first presented with at the beginning of the work. That being said, I would move this first image and the stanza in which it sits and nestle it within the poem, this would in my opinion help the concept of the work not feel signposted to the reader from the beginning. Moreover; I think it would help create a stronger and more punchy denouement to the piece.

Regards

Johnny