02-17-2018, 03:11 AM
Draft #1
In The Grave
A drop of blood,
Scarlet red.
Upon a rose,
It then bled.
Weeping through silk,
Of fleece white.
Blending smoothly,
With all it's might.
Turning first pink,
Supple and sweet.
Then concaving further,
Fathomless red it meets.
A plummeting descent,
To flounders floors.
Where it then rests/sleeps/slumbers, (not sure which one)
Forevermore.
A single petal,
Upon rows of gore.
Lying impaired,
Forevermore.
Draft #2
From Beyond The Grave
(yep, I was a bit scratched for titles, usually they come but this time I put any old thing down. Still no idea what to put though really. Also, I wrote this then I saw a competition (never such innocence) and they were to be themed WW1, and realised that this was slightly like that, some edits needed. Experimenting with/without rhyme now)
A drop of blood,
Red like Scarlet,
Descending on a rose
In a fathomless pit.
Tearing through silk
Of the purest white,
Seeking to grasp
All concept of life.
Turning first pink,
Soft and sweet.
Then concaving further,
Sunless red it meets.-Not sure how to fix the syntax and the shift to passive? Does 'sunless' fix the syntax? I felt there was something off about 'meets' but wasn't sure what else to do.
When the ground shatters,
The "gods" of the sky fly past.
Spilt blood is as a river of tears
That can be cried from distant lands.
A plummeting descent,
To flounders floors/To rows of gore.
Where a petal then rests,
Forevermore.
Draft #3
When the ground shatters,
The "heroes" of the sky fly past.
Spilt blood cries as a river of tears
That is heard from distant lands.
A drop of blood,
Red like scarlet.
Descending on a rose
In a fathomless pit.
Tearing through silk
Of the purest white,
Seeking to grasp
Every trace of life.
Turning first blush,
Soft and sweet.
Then pouring further,
Sunless red it meets.
A plummeting descent,
To rows of gore.
Where a petal then rests,
Forevermore.
In The Grave
A drop of blood,
Scarlet red.
Upon a rose,
It then bled.
Weeping through silk,
Of fleece white.
Blending smoothly,
With all it's might.
Turning first pink,
Supple and sweet.
Then concaving further,
Fathomless red it meets.
A plummeting descent,
To flounders floors.
Where it then rests/sleeps/slumbers, (not sure which one)
Forevermore.
A single petal,
Upon rows of gore.
Lying impaired,
Forevermore.
Draft #2
From Beyond The Grave
(yep, I was a bit scratched for titles, usually they come but this time I put any old thing down. Still no idea what to put though really. Also, I wrote this then I saw a competition (never such innocence) and they were to be themed WW1, and realised that this was slightly like that, some edits needed. Experimenting with/without rhyme now)
A drop of blood,
Red like Scarlet,
Descending on a rose
In a fathomless pit.
Tearing through silk
Of the purest white,
Seeking to grasp
All concept of life.
Turning first pink,
Soft and sweet.
Then concaving further,
Sunless red it meets.-Not sure how to fix the syntax and the shift to passive? Does 'sunless' fix the syntax? I felt there was something off about 'meets' but wasn't sure what else to do.
When the ground shatters,
The "gods" of the sky fly past.
Spilt blood is as a river of tears
That can be cried from distant lands.
A plummeting descent,
To flounders floors/To rows of gore.
Where a petal then rests,
Forevermore.
Draft #3
When the ground shatters,
The "heroes" of the sky fly past.
Spilt blood cries as a river of tears
That is heard from distant lands.
A drop of blood,
Red like scarlet.
Descending on a rose
In a fathomless pit.
Tearing through silk
Of the purest white,
Seeking to grasp
Every trace of life.
Turning first blush,
Soft and sweet.
Then pouring further,
Sunless red it meets.
A plummeting descent,
To rows of gore.
Where a petal then rests,
Forevermore.