The Cold of Cailleach

[Todd]

Hi Leanne,

I haven't read any of the comments and I've had some false starts in trying to give feedback. Hopefully, the feedback will still have value. I enjoyed the tone of the piece and it reminded me of a Neil Gaiman work, Norse Gods, that I recently read. Not so much for the content, but as a reminder that the gods stand in to demonstrate our human extremes. They are examples of our hubris and folly. So, when I read this poem I see them as an overlay to a relationship and I also get the sense of a transition from old to new (rebirth) with your seasonal winter/spring imagery.

From the title, I think of personified winter. The cold of the hag. The cold in a relationship, or as Steven's would say, "One must have a mind of winter."

The cloud-crowned thunderer
speaks to his people
with the falling rain
 
He speaks often
and is not always polite
 
We open with this first character. This sky thunderer (Zeus, Thor, pick your poison). The sky is often set against the earth as a male/female dynamic. We seem to have that here. We have this patriarch who carries a sense or true authority cloud-crowned is an economical and nicely phrased way of bringing out a few ideas and characterizations. The lack of politeness is a great way to imply the storm. 

Turning her smooth face skyward--One comment on a small but good choice. I like smooth here because in this context we have one party thundering (violent, yelling, could stand for a great level of implied conflict). To say, her "smooth" face, it may imply that she is unperturbed and also ageless, but what I mostly take from it is a level of control in placing on a mask.
the loch lady drinks--She is not called one of his followers. She has followers of her own. The rain is not necessarily for her, but she takes what she needs. This could be someone that bides their time and uses what's given.
at one with the salmon til season’s end--I take the salmon as something significant. Salmon travel to their spawning place to spawn themselves and die. Perhaps, this revolves around childbirth, but it also deals with submerging oneself for the sake of a purpose. Till season's end makes me think that she endures in this relationship and knows that it will conclude.
 
She blesses her followers
with gifts of ale and mead--alcohol to make merry, possibly alcohol to dull the senses.
 
The threefold goddess --Seems like a representation of the Fates.
blue-faced now and one-eyed
breathes ice into open-mouthed crags--lovely phrasing. Shuts the mouths of those around her possibly.
 
Her love for her people
has no room for weakness--weakness is punished. It feels like whomever she must protect drives her strength and forces her mask to remain smooth.
 
Foreign stones do not crush--implication those closer to home might crush. The enemy is within the camp. 
a breast that has risen and fallen
since suns were ice--This is a lovely line. It has the timeless feeling I associate with good myths.
 
To be reborn each year
until the years are no more--while there's a symmetry to this and a promise that is hopeful, I think I'd like to see a short image add some punch to it to make it more than a slightly predictable saying (not saying cliche just easy to anticipate).
 
In the shadow of the storm
the great stag watches
and dreams of spring--Love this line and the promise of a new beginning.
 
When he and his newly-young goddess
will bring the land to life--maybe something that shows this happening. I think going one level closer to image instead of the summary will make this pop more.

I fear I might have been all over the place. Hope something in there helps.

Best,

Todd