07-04-2017, 08:07 AM
honestly i think that was really great. got a wicked rhythm. my favourite verse would be:
"Let those hands in to begin their art,
'twill take years this is just the start,
But with supports- not just empty walls,
No snide retorts - only love in these halls"
i mean seriously you could have that one verse as like something you frame and hang in the kitchen or something. the words mean a lot and can apply to anything really. well done man. oh and the last three verses are a brilliant wind down to the poem, great ending. feels 'complete'.
"Let those hands in to begin their art,
'twill take years this is just the start,
But with supports- not just empty walls,
No snide retorts - only love in these halls"
i mean seriously you could have that one verse as like something you frame and hang in the kitchen or something. the words mean a lot and can apply to anything really. well done man. oh and the last three verses are a brilliant wind down to the poem, great ending. feels 'complete'.