The Autocrat

[Lizzie]

This is a pretty tight vignette.  

IMO this kind of piece is all about ordinary "facts" juxtaposed by
surprising details (imagery) or unexpected counterpoints.

As presented this reads as a rather linear description which seems
more like reporting than story telling.  But that's probably my
personal preference for asymmetry and non-linearity kicking in. Hmmm, what might help it seem more like a story other than mixing up the timeline?

That said, I believe you could look for more sensory stimulation
by keeping sight smell hearing taste and touch in mind. Yeah, I'll think about that one. It is pretty short, so there's room for more.

I'd also be curious to know where "mom" is in this equation. 

Are you willing to reveal some of the dark shadows that every home has? Well, I've set out a few times to write specifically about family things, and that never quite works out. I have to just let whatever wants to come out come out and leave it at that. That having been said, I am a little more confessional in my bent, and so I suspect that, when read together with some of my other pieces, a more unified whole will emerge with time.

Just some thoughts.

But I want to underscore the fact I enjoyed the read!  

~Ton

Thank you for your thoughts, Ton. Good having you on the site!

lizziep