10-15-2016, 05:54 AM
CRNDLSM,
Thanks for the critique, very helpful. I will get on removing some of the 'it is not''s, thanks for pointing that out, it is things like that that I am most often blind to.
CRNDLSM, wrote "is this metaphor?" Actually the whole poem is a metaphor, but in terms of the phrase "since when did politics need holding and whispering" it is simply rhetoric, although I am not completely sure to what you are referring.
"anonymity?" Not sure what you are asking. H.D. was "Hilda ... Doolittle (September 10, 1886 – September 27, 1961) ... an American poet, novelist, and memoirist known for her association with the early 20th century avant-garde Imagist group of poets such as Ezra Pound and Richard Aldington. She published under the pen name of H.D."
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.D.)
I consider her one of the major modernist poets, although I am not a fan, so the use of her here is used in a somewhat derisive way.
"I want to okay this whole stanza relates to Shakespeare but I don't know" You of course can read it "as you will"
, but it was meant only as an analogy.
"All Apples rot in the end.maybe too cynical clever though"
Even Shakespeare played to the penny gallery, how could I do less
Although your other comments were valid, some I choose not to respond to as it would reduce a slight necessary ambiguity that this needs to work at several levels and some of the others I am still considering, but I certainly do appreciate the time, thought and effort you put into this critique.
Thank you again,
Best,
dale
Thanks for the critique, very helpful. I will get on removing some of the 'it is not''s, thanks for pointing that out, it is things like that that I am most often blind to.
CRNDLSM, wrote "is this metaphor?" Actually the whole poem is a metaphor, but in terms of the phrase "since when did politics need holding and whispering" it is simply rhetoric, although I am not completely sure to what you are referring.
"anonymity?" Not sure what you are asking. H.D. was "Hilda ... Doolittle (September 10, 1886 – September 27, 1961) ... an American poet, novelist, and memoirist known for her association with the early 20th century avant-garde Imagist group of poets such as Ezra Pound and Richard Aldington. She published under the pen name of H.D."
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.D.)
I consider her one of the major modernist poets, although I am not a fan, so the use of her here is used in a somewhat derisive way.
"I want to okay this whole stanza relates to Shakespeare but I don't know" You of course can read it "as you will"
, but it was meant only as an analogy. "All Apples rot in the end.maybe too cynical clever though"
Even Shakespeare played to the penny gallery, how could I do less
Although your other comments were valid, some I choose not to respond to as it would reduce a slight necessary ambiguity that this needs to work at several levels and some of the others I am still considering, but I certainly do appreciate the time, thought and effort you put into this critique.
Thank you again,
Best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.