Glimpsing Darkness

[Shay]

Hi there. I think this is a relatively nice work here, and I'm just adding some thoughts to it as a lot of points have been made already. 

glimpsing darkness

Truly seeing
in the black air. - I appreciate the high degree of directness in the opening segment. "Black air" is a nice attempt at a rather different, contrasting image, however, it could benefit from some enhancement in terms of more details added to it. It's not greatly visual, but I really like the vividness it can create within one's perception. 
 
Adjusting to
coming through it. - The connection to the previous segment prevails, however, as well as the lack of detail. The language employed (or the lack thereof) appears to evoke a more vague depiction than your beginning, particularly the "it" contributes highly to that impression. Precision at this space could be more interesting. 
 
A passenger
and sometimes I
am the driver. - I'm unfortunately not overly fond of the breaks here, as it disrupts the read, which is already shifting towards a vague direction. Combining the first two sentences in this segment could result in a possible enhancement, but that is pure preference. The relation of the "I" and the transformation to the "driver" is very nebulous to me. Again, further details to paint out that picture you were trying to create would have been nice. 
 
In a tunnel
that I had to
pass through - without
a shortcut and
with no way to
shut my eyes tight
and let it go
whistling by - rushed.
As a favour. - The sight of the tunnel and the "journey" are a nice repetition hereby. Again, the breaks are disruptive in aligning the train of thoughts you were going for here. The "let it go" bit is very vaguely depicted, what does the "it" refer to on a more detailed scale? It would be interesting if you could add those details, which were mentioned earlier, to it, in order to have a more "clear sight". The "rushed - as a favour" bit is an interesting debut for a quite different train of thought, but unfortunately it's not carried further, but rather abruptly interrupted through the vague reflection of the "favour". 
 
I had to pay
deliverance.
To smell the smoke
and worry about
suffocation.
 
To see the light
I had to do it.
To ride through it. - This final segment has the clearer and more vivid resolution. The choice of words hereby seem subtly effective, but I would still like to see a clear final scenery being depicted here.