Post Beat Modern (for milo)

[LunaDeLore]

Post Beat Modern (for milo)
 
Brushes soft on a hi-hat,
tenor sax blows soft with a
vibrato not heard since Stan Getz.  ---- I love the beat tone of this strophe
 
In a booth under the stairs,
he simpers and
reaches out to stroke her hair,
but she's grown balls and pulls away. ----grown comes off too passive for me. why doesn't she grow balls?
He has to catch himself ---- again the passive slips in
from falling into her lap
—so over-extended—
"Eat me," she says
as she stands and walks away.
 
Confusion and hope war on his face
as he cannot decide if he's been put down,
or made an offer.
 
The Jazz plays on.
 
 
erthona
 
©2016

erthona,

The title fits this poem well as I can truly pick-up on the post beat modern tone. I do admit that I did stumble on "grown" but other than the slight passive I have no nits.

Good work.

Luna