01-20-2016, 01:05 PM
It's an interesting concept, I like the idea of this child sitting alone in an apartment room and I get the sense he is seeing/feeling/being exposed to things he should not be. I want to hear more about this. I want to hear more about this pool also. I think the idea of a pool's reflective light shining on a wall could be EXTREMELY powerful because it is a mystical image, especially for a child. I want to hear more of a description about exactly what that looks like. What does it look like? What does it remind him of? Maybe use a metaphor instead of "strange electric glow". Keep working on this because I think you could really take it somewhere.