01-03-2016, 02:07 PM
This is a very nice poem. Especially for a beginner. I like the way it reads, it sort of reminds me of a childrens book somehow? Like the ending. But that is not a bad thing at all , in fact its quite nice (:
Hmm i would maybe change the ending a little bit to make it sound a pit more professional. Like i personally would just say " squawk " instead of the long version you used. I also would say about instead of 'bout. But i think thats just my personal preference. I dont really understand slang and i dont really feel like it should be used in literary. But that is just me (:
I this was overall a good poem nice job
Hmm i would maybe change the ending a little bit to make it sound a pit more professional. Like i personally would just say " squawk " instead of the long version you used. I also would say about instead of 'bout. But i think thats just my personal preference. I dont really understand slang and i dont really feel like it should be used in literary. But that is just me (:
I this was overall a good poem nice job